There was a bizarre injury in Toronto sports recently when a rookie Blue Jays pitcher strained his oblique muscle by … sneezing. Which led me to wonder, What are the strangest injuries ever in the history of the NBA? Put on your bubblewrap suit, basketball fans, while you check out this top ten list of bizarre basketball injuries:

10. Danny Ainge, bitten by a Tree — from Ian Thomsen:

In a 1983 first-round playoff game with Atlanta, Ainge tried to tackle Tree Rollins. Ainge shrieked in pain from the ensuing tangled pile of bodies.

“We got into a little scuffle out on the court by the foul line and he almost bit my finger off,” Ainge said. “He bit it all the way through. I had to get two stitches.”

[...]

The next day, the Boston Herald published one of the great headlines: “Tree Bites Man.”

9. Kevin Johnson, broken by a Barkley bear hug — from Lowposts.com:

After Johnson hit a game-winning shot, Charles Barkley celebrated by wrapping him up in a big bear hug.  Barkley squeezed so tightly, that he popped and dislocated KJ’s shoulder.

8. Drew Gooden, infected leg hairs — from Business Week(!):

The normally robust Drew Gooden, a forward with the Orlando Magic basketball team, startled his fans when he missed three games in March because of infected hair follicles on his leg. This was no ordinary infection, however.

Gooden, who at first thought he was suffering from spider bites, was laid low by a virulent staph bacteria. He received antibiotics through an intravenous drip for 72 hours while doctors repeatedly drained his leg. “People were trying to make fun, like it was nothing,” Gooden said to reporters. “That was serious.”

7. Jason Collins, golf cart rollover — from BDL:

“Collins was injured in what a team spokesman called a ‘freak’ golf-cart accident. He partially ruptured his triceps tendon after his golf cart skidded and tipped over.”

And that’s that. Collins is expected to miss eight weeks. Doh!

6. Monta Ellis, on a low-speed moped — from Fanhouse:

The origin of his torn deltoid and high-ankle sprain came out today in a report by the San Francisco Chronicle, which termed it a “low-speed accident.” Well thank God for that. If Ellis had really ramped that baby up, just imagine what could have happened. I’m also curious as to how he managed to sustain an accident at “low-speed” on a moped. Don’t you essentially have to run it directly into something? Did a turtle jump out in front of it? Isn’t Monta supposed to be, you know, light on his feet?

5. Derrick Rose, freak apple-carving accident – from The Sporting Blog:

“It was a silly incident,” Rose said. “I was cutting up some food and I laid on a knife getting lazy in bed. I went to go get a bottle of water, came back, forgot the knife was there, then sat down and sliced my arm.”

So. Many. Questions. Don’t know where to start. Why is a man who only eats a steady diet of candy and sweets eating an apple? Was it covered in caramel? And why would he be carving it in bed? Or carving it at all? Just pick that thing up and eat it. It’s an apple, dude, not a turkey. And bottled water? Really? Mr. Fancypants Big Time Baller too good for the tap? Elitist.

4. Jeff Ruland, run over by a luggage cart — from The NY Times:

He had rejoined the team Jan. 7 after a five-year layoff because of an injured left knee.

Ten days after returning to the team, Ruland injured the right Achilles’ tendon in an accident outside the Boston Garden. Ruland has said he was hit from behind by a luggage cart pushed by a Celtics employee.

Ruland sued the Celts for damages, too. Given the tone of this post, I fear what happened after he “chomped gum vigorously”…

3. Muggsy Bogues, high on ointment fumes — from P-Bender:

Muggsy Bogues (Tor) missed the 2nd half of Monday’s Por-Tor game because he accidentally inhaled a muscle ointment during a halftime treatment and he then complained about dizziness.  Bogues: “Never happened to me before and I  hope it never happens again.  That was one of those fluke things you don’t even dream about.”

I imagine muscle ointment dreams would be pretty trippy.

2. Charles Barkley, blinded by hand lotion — from The NY Times:

Charles Barkley inadvertently burned his corneas when he rubbed body lotion into his eyes during an Eric Clapton concert and will miss the Phoenix Suns’ season opener Friday night.

An ophthalmologist ordered the forward to wear eye patches for 12 hours. Barkley traveled with the Suns to Sacramento for the opener, but Coach Paul Westphal said he would not play.

“Argh, ye scurvy dogs! Hoist the mainstay and sing me ‘Layla’!”

And the number one most bizarre basketball injury in the history of the NBA (so far)…

1. Lionel Simmons, Gameboy tendinitis — back to Lowposts.com:

Simmons missed two games during the 1990/91 season with wrist tendinitis, brought on from playing too much Nintendo Gameboy. As someone who likes to sneak in an occasional game of Tetris during the workday, I feel your pain, Lionel.

Raptorable mention: B.J. Tyler, frozen knee — from Hoopedia:

According to journalist Chris Young’s book Drive, Tyler accidentally fell asleep with a pack of ice on his knee, severely damaging it and thus losing all the speed for which he was famed, and subsequently had to retire.

Related reading: Basketbawful’s authoritative Worst Evers: Dumb Injuries

Disagree with the order? Got a better one for the list? Comment below.